the bullet back

i wish i could turn back time
just a little tiny bit
but life doesn’t work like that
and i have to accept
and be aware of the reality
wishing the past comes back
wishing the spoken words back
wishing the bullet back

my life seems built on regret
awake deep in the night
replaying past, present and future
i must learn to accept
and understand that in reality
the past never comes back
nor the spoken words back
nor the bullet back

life is a price of moments added
a penny here a penny there
buying and selling good and evil
needing to accept
reality’s price is always too much
the past spent cannot come back
and not the spoken words back
and not the bullet back

time and life of humanity surround
those i brush and those untouched
aware and unaware in turn
can't they accept
the exception that is me
but the past never comes back
the spoken words never back
the bullet never back

a god could turn time around
and twist it to a will
but a human cannot work like that
and we have to accept
and be aware of all life spun out
the past won’t come back
the spoken word back
the bullet back

6/22/15

jeg

a temporary heart

a temporary heart is beating in my chest

i can feel it flex and relax
as it pushes life throughout my body
if it is quiet i expect it to leave
then it beats and i remember

a temporary heart is beating in my chest
i can feel it strengthen and weaken
as it pushes thought throughout my body
when it pauses I hold my breath
then it starts and i remember

a temporary heart is beating in my chest
i can feel it stutter and start
as it pushes memory throughout my body
as it stops i tense and await
then it blossoms and i remember

a temporary heart is beating in my chest
i can feel it clench and unclench
as it pushes love throughout my body
it squeezes and makes me gasp
then it opens and i remember

a temporary heart is beating in my chest
i can feel it twist and turn
as it pushes dream throughout my body
each time it twists i squirm
then it straightens and i remember

a temporary heart is beating in my chest
i can feel it cough and groan
as it pushes regret throughout my body
i sicken as the poison enters
then it withdraws and i remember

a temporary heart is beating in my chest
i can feel it whine and mewl
as it pushes hate throughout my body
it clings and brings me shame
then it hesitates and i remember

a temporary heart is beating in my chest
i can feel it flutter and stop
as it pushes time throughout my body
each time i pretend it is living
then it lets go and i remember

jeg 5/18/15