and life is given back
yet somehow it does not balance
in the heart
i cannot trade one life for another
they all seem to tear away pieces of my heart
when one arrives it demands its share of the love
and when it leaves it takes that share away
how much love
is left in the heart
perhaps that is why it flutters and fumbles at night
when sleepless
the restless unbidden thoughts mingle
that which is present and that which is absent
until the early light brings sleepless to wakeless
and begins a new cycle of pauses and regrets
the bits of love
that have been given away
do they stay in others’ lives forever
or are castaway
a bloody shadow here a dried wisp there
littering the paths that were taken
discarded wantonly disposed of carelessly
and left to mark the trails that could never be
i scatter my life
as i scatter my love
in the knowledge of imbalance
left are memories and tears
furrowing the age of the face until all is barren
twitching vacant loveless heartless and drying
awaiting the savage moment that lies between
the sad slow movement of time to life to death
4/8/17
jeg.
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